The A-Z of Film
J = Jay and Silent Bob
It’s Jay and Silent Bob for my next instalment of the A-Z of film. As a result you may read some naughty words. If you are easily offended, please read the words as ‘funk’ and ‘ship’ instead of ‘fuck’ and ‘shit.’ Problem solved!
‘Jay and Silent Bob are fucking clown shoes.’ Those were the words that came out of my now wife’s mouth when I used the chat up line, ‘I hear you like Kevin Smith films.’ This was followed by ‘Well, look at these morose motherfuckers. Looks like somebody shit in their cereal. Bong!’ and ”but Affleck was the bomb in Phantoms.’ That was over ten years ago and a day doesn’t go by without at least one of us quoting a Kevin Smith film.
I was born in 1983, so I was definitely in the right age range for Jay and Silent Bob growing up. My first experience of this crazy duo was Mallrats which I found one night on Cable TV. I would have only been around 13 at the time and a lot of the jokes went over my head but ‘say, would you like a chocolate coated pretzel?’
The film blew me away, and I could really relate to Willam. I’ve never once been able to see a magic eye picture. ‘A schooner is a sailboat stupid idiot.’ ‘You know what? There is no Easter bunny! Over there, that’s just a guy in a suit.’
It wasn’t really till 1999 that full on Kevin Smith obsession kicked in. I watched Dogma at the cinema and everything changed. I hunted out Kevin’s previous work. I think within a couple of weeks I’d seen Clerks and Chasing Amy. This would have also been around the time I discovered Dazed and Confused, but that’s a different story.
For the next ten years Kevin Smith films were a staple of my life, and when I met my now wife and she shared my enthusiasm for the man, I knew we were meant to be together. Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back is one of those films we watch at least a couple of times a year, and without fail, will have me crying with laughter. It also taught me what a 10-82 is.
Not surprisingly, we will be front of the queue when Jay and Silent Bob Reboot comes out later this year. I can’t wait. Snootchie bootchie!
i don’t know if you’ll get this or not but I’ve got to start somewhere.
I’ve got a great movie idea for ya guys
picture j and silent bob standing outside of a center market (or any indian with a dot store) that’s located on a small town were everyone knows everyone.
the owner of the store is a eastern fella who is always trying to chance j and bob away from the store because he don’t want them loitering in front of it bothering the customers.
employees of the store are Harold and Kumar one or the other is a manager and the others just a teller stock boy and they work in the store. they recognize that the old owner guy is kind of secretive and hush-hush and has a lot of weird meetings people coming in through the backdoor with briefcases and towels on their head kind of people sketchy situations you know.
in the midst of things Jay and Silent Bob go in and break some stuff and Harold and Kumar come up with an idea to have them work off what they broke because they have no money to pay for it and owner is pissed so instead of paying for it them selfs they figured they’d have two guys do their job for them. while doing their job one of them (j or bob) stumbles upon A downstairs Cellar basement to the store and they go into it and discover nuclear warheads under the store.
so they decide to call the cops, the cops show up and it happens to be no other than the Super Trooper guys try to get to the bottom of things and figure shit out and they also called FBI when they called the FBI who shows up? Neil Patrick Harris is leading up the FBI investigation team for Homeland Security.
Jay and Silent Bob end up going to the friends house and letting the secret out and the friends come up with a plane to still and sell the bomb for weed money (the biggest easy) because that’s just what the trailer park Ricky Julian and Bubbles do.
sorry so long and probably not what your used to when someone pitches a movie idea to ya. but i have no fucking clue of what I’m doing or how to go About it. so Here is where i find myself not knowing how to make this happen. if you got any questions or think thismight be subverting worth looking into give me a call. 971-241-1448 my name is Peter Whiteley and I’ll probably not answer the phone thinking your a car warranty has expired or IRS is looking for me new guy telemarketer bulshit people so if I don’t answer just leave a message and I’ll get back to ya. thanks
ps it’s an original idea it came from me no one else so i want in on the action of it goes anywhere farther than jyst this text. thank you guys for making me laugh you guys are awesome.