We had a Grumbling Vin double-bill in the last section, an annoying Bat and some Beasts that should have stayed at home. Before we get onto 30 – 21, let’s have a recap.
52. Raiders of the Lost Shark 51. Ibiza Undead 50. Fifty Shades Freed 49. Mom and Dad 48. CHIPS 47. Alien Covenant 46. Pirates of the Caribbean: Salazar’s Revenge 45. Killing Hasselhoff 44. The Man from U.N.C.L.E 43. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows 42. Kingsman: The Golden Circle 41. Terminal 40. Fast and Furious 8 39. XXX: Return of Xander Cage 38. Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them 37. Geostorm 36. The Hurricane Heist 35. Life 34. Solo: A Star Wars Story 33. Dear Dictator 32. Suburbicon 31. The Lego Batman Movie
This time The Rock gets double billing honours. It’s also a solid 3 star run to the top twenty, enjoy.
30. Final Score
Quick Verdict: Bautista’s a bloody good striker
So who’s up for Die Hard at the football stadium? Well that’s what you’ll get if you watch Final Score. Set at Upton Park, where they filmed after West Ham left the stadium for the Olympic Stadium, Dave Bautista is your John McClane character who gets entangled in the middle of a hunt for a thought dead Dictator, played by Pierce Brosnan. This all takes place during the UEFA semi final.
We have hand-to-hand combat, graphic deaths, explosions, gun fights and death defying jumps. What more could you want? I’ve said this a lot in this countdown, but switch your brain off and enjoy the ride.
I did find it funny how they had a full on gun fight and a motorbike driving along the roof of the stadium and not one spectator noticed. Brilliant!
29. Kong: Skull Island
Quick Verdict: Kong goes to Nam
King Skull Island, what to say about this? King Kong’s on his Island, he has lots of beasts to fight, and someone has taken a Vietnam inspired film crew to capture this film. That’s what I took from it.
It’s okay, I didn’t hate it, and I just went along with it. John C. Reilly does however feel like he’s in a different film. I get the comic relief character, he just seemed to be the only one who knew you could laugh.
Visually it does look great and I did enjoy the style of the film, my main gripe was the little nods to a bigger universe. Something that bugs me with lots of films. It can be part of something bigger, but you don’t have to shove it down our throats. Please wait for the post credits scene people.
28. The Monster Squad
Quick Verdict: The Monster Goonibusters
This was the first film I watched in 2018 and what a fun start. My friend loved this film growing up and this has been one he had told me to watch for some time. The problem I have with recommendations like this is the fact that they were aged 10 when they saw it for the first time, and this love comes from a certain amount of sentimental and nostalgic fondness. The previous year was the first time I watched Labyrinth, I liked it, but was convinced that if I’d seen it as a child I would have loved it, and still had that love as a grown up.
So, The Monster Squad is best described as The Goonies meets The Lost Boys on a slightly lower budget. Wow, I think my friend will disown me for that sentence. Obviously The Lost Boys came out in the same year as The Monster Squad, so I’ll put that down to a coincidence, but it definitely takes a lot from The Goonies. It’s a fun film that builds on the young gang of kids saving the day routine, and adds a bit of edginess to stand it apart from the rest.
27. Nanny McPhee
Quick Verdict: Mary McPoppin
Sometimes you just want to sit in front of the TV on a Saturday afternoon and watch the film that’s on the telly. That’s what happened with Nanny McPhee. It’s an absolutely charming family film, with magic and fun that will melt even the hardest of hearts.
It’s also got that kid from Love Actually in it, but this time he’s Colin Firth’s child. He is lot less annoying in this, which is ironic as his characters main trait is annoying all the nannies.
26. Super Troopers 2
Quick Verdict: Meow it’s quite good
Meow this probably isn’t many people’s cup of tea. My wife hated the first one, and unless you liked the original, you probably wouldn’t seek this out.
Super Troopers 2 is more of the same from the Broken Lizard gang. A crowd funded sequel that has sex, drugs, general fucking around and a surprising amount of cameos.
If you’ve watched Super Troopers, Beerfest, Club Dread or The Slammin’ Salmon and liked any of them, give this a go. If not move on to the next film.
25. Central Intelligence
Quick Verdict: Fun at the CIA
The next film is the beginning of a Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson double-bill. Teaming up with the high school jock, played by Kevin Hart, The Rock is a C.I.A. operative who’s crazy as fuck and loves to play spy.
This is another one of those ‘switch off and go along for the ride’ films. They did seem to entertain me last year. It doesn’t take itself seriously, the plot doesn’t really matter and all you really want is to see The Rock do some crazy shit and look cool doing it. If that’s what you want, this film is a must.
Quick Verdict: Life’s a beach
The second of The Rock films is the hilarious and ridiculous Baywatch. Loosely based on the TV series. Actually that’s unfair, it’s closely based on the TV series, it’s just an extra level of stupid and has swearing and more skin on show. I know, how is that possible? It is however, done as a joke in itself and takes fun of the TV series slow-mo running to comical effect.
I went into this with really really low expectations. The reviews had been mixed and with having recently watched CHIPS at this point last year, I thought it would follow that trend. Thankfully I was mistaken and thoroughly enjoyed it.
23. The Hitman’s Bodyguard
Quick Verdict: Deadpool’s day job
And I will always love Ryan Reynolds and Samuel L. Mother Fucking Jackson. Sorry, I went a bit Whitney there.
A bodyguard hired to watch over a hitman. Simple! It’s two hours of switching off your brain and laughing at two great actors. I think it was a risk to put two such big personalities together and at points it was close to becoming too much, but on the whole they worked great together. For me Salma Hayek steals the show. She’s great and someone I definitely wouldn’t mess with.
So if want a bit of fun, this is for you. Unless you find Ryan annoying. It’s a lot of Ryan if you’re not a fan.
Quick Verdict: An important film
Next is quite a change of pace. Denial is the true story of a holocaust denier, who attempts to sue Deborah Lipstadt for libel. She then has to prove in court that the holocaust did happen.
This is a really interesting and engaging film, and amazing that this actually happened. It is also a fascinating look into the British justice system.
Not a film to watch for something to cheer you up, but a really important film and one that needed to be be told. It was nominated for Outstanding British film at the BAFTAs but lost out to I. Daniel Blake in 2017. In a different year I think it would have won it.
21. The Mummy
Quick Verdict: A Mummy surprise
Brendan Fraser has left the building, please step forward Tom Cruise. What could go wrong with this new take / maybe connected version of The Mummy? Well a lot of people didn’t like it, they thought it was boring. I thought it was absolutely fine.
This does do the thing I’ve moaned about a lot, setting up for the future, but I thought they did a great job moving the genre into the 21st century. The action was good, Jake Johnson was a worthy sidekick and I actually liked seeing Tom Cruise as a bit of a dick and not the 100% American hero we usually get.
As I mentioned just above, it did the setting up for the future. I think if they hadn’t spent so much time on that, they could put more into the story and it might have gone down better with audiences. Now we know the universe is pretty much dead and buried and we’ll never see what happens next.
One last time. HOLLYWOOD, STOP SETTING UP UNIVERSES AND CONCENTRATE ON JUST PUTTING A GOOD FILM OUT. THEN LOOK AT ADDING TO THE FRANCHISE IF IT IS SUCCESSFUL. Was that loud enough?
So part 3 is over. What will happen in part 4? It must be great films all the way now to the top 10.
To be continued……