⭐⭐ Stars

Quick Verdict – Diamonds aren’t for everyone

Plan A – George Lazenby and Diana Rigg drive off into the sunset in the previous film all happy. Opening title sequence of Diamonds Are Forever sees Diana Rigg being killed and George Lazenby going on a revenge mission.

What, George isn’t going to do another Bond. Okay, new plan.

Plan B – Kill Diana Rigg off at the end of On Her Majesty’s Secret Service and drag Sean Connery back, I don’t care how old he looks or how much money he wants.

So they went for Plan B. Sean Connery is back. A little older and a little grumpier, and I don’t get the Bond film I wanted.

Enough of the negativity for a minute. Bond is back and looking for revenge. Thankfully for Bond it doesn’t take long, dispatching Blofeld before the beginning credits. So with that over and done with, Bond gets back to work on the trail of some diamond smugglers. From England to Amsterdam, then flying in to Las Vegas, Bond finally discovers that the culprit is none other than the thought deceased Blofeld.

This film is fun, is a polite way to put it. The story is fine but the execution just seems lazy and completely self-mocking. It had been set up brilliantly, but I never really felt that Bond was really that upset about his wifes death and that the director was more interested in one liners and terrible outfits.

As a child, the fun and silliness of the film actually had me thinking this was one of the best. I can safely look back and say ‘I was wrong.’ The henchman, Mr Wint and Mr Kidd are laughable, I would have prefered them to use Bambi and Thumper throughout the film. At least they posed a threat to Bond.

Charles Gray as Blofeld is okay. He did have some huge shoes to fill and thought he performed admirably. Jill St John handles herself well, as a diamond smuggler with the ability to think for herself and play a situation to her advantage. I’m not sure however, about Lana Wood. She’s in it for about 3 minutes and seems to be there just to fill time.

So as you can guess, this isn’t my favourite Bond film. Shirley Bassey certainly makes up for things with another great title song. Overall the film has some good moments and a promising story but is certainly not the Sean Connery final outing I had hoped for.

Also, by now don’t you think that when Blofeld is employing henchmen, on the induction day, they are shown a photo of James Bond, which they must keep on them at all times. This photo should also come with a note saying ‘KILL ON SIGHT!’ Just a thought.

  • Best Gadget – The Moon Buggy. Not really much to choose from.
  • Quote – ‘I’m Plenty.’ ‘But of course you are.’
  • Favourite moment – The fight in the lift in Amsterdam. It’s only bit of real suspense.

Watch this if you like –

  • Austin Powers
  • Casino Royale (1967)
  • Fake moon landings
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